10 July 2006

Do You Want Divas With That?

When Andrew and I went on our recent trip to Montreal, we happened across the restaurant to your left, Pizza Madona. Being the clever fellows that we are, we thought, "What if we opened a pizza place--in the Village, of course--that was entirely themed after Madonna's hit singles?"

Tickled with ourselves, we spent about two minutes coming up with menu items. Then we realized it was time to eat. Again. We were on vacation, after all.

But when we got in the car for the 6 hour drive back to New York (plus potty breaks, an outlet shopping marathon, and one horrifying traffic jam), the Madonna-themed pizzeria sprang back into our minds. Could this be because we're too creative to let a good idea go? Could it be because I kept playing selections from the original motion picture soundtrack of Evita? You be the judge!

At any rate, I'm pleased to present you with the menu we devised. Look for our restaurant to open the moment some wealthy investor with a nose for success writes us a check.

PIZZA MADONNA

STEP ONE: CHOOSE YOUR CRUST

(1) Just a Pie, My Love (hand tossed)

(2) Like a Prayer (thin crust--thin as a communion wafer)

(3) Deeper and Deeper (deep dish)

(4) Secret (stuffed crust, with cheese or some other secret delight)

STEP TWO: DO YOU WANT BORDERLINE? (Meaning half of your pizza has one set of toppings and the other half has another)


STEP THREE: CHOOSE YOUR PIE or EXPRESS YOURSELF and PICK YOUR OWN TOPPINGS

Our pies include...

(1) Holiday (Hawaiian--ham and pineapple)

(2) Clucky Star (chicken and mozzarella)

(3) Like a Virigin (white pizza--no tomato sauce, rocotta cheese, your choice of toppings)

(4) Material Girl (black truffles, foie gras, brie)

(5) Dress You Up (supreme)

(6) Papa Don't Preach (caviar, baby spinach, ground veal)

(7) True Bleu (bleu cheese, sundried tomatoes)

(8) Open Your Heart (meat lover's pizza with extra cheese)

(9) La Isla Bo-Pizza (jalapenos, salsa, spicy ground beef)

(10) Take a Bough (veggie lover's pizza)

(11) You'll Sea (calamari, shrimp, scallops)

(12) Don't Cry for Me, Sausage Pizza (chorizo sausage, ricotta cheese)

(13) You Must Love Cheese (cheese lover's pizza--ricotta, mozzarella, feta, and parmesan)

(14) Ray of Lite (Whole wheat crust, soy cheese, spinach, broccoli, grilled chicken)

(15) American Life (pepperoni and cheese)

STEP FOUR: HOW ABOUT A DESSERT PIZZA?

(1) Hanky Panky (whipped cream, chocolate sauce, cherry pie filling, an unrolled pair of edible panties... served on graham cracker crust)

(2) This Used To Be My Playground (shortbread crust, cake icing, M&M's, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

AND DON'T FORGET OUR SPECIAL OFFERS...

**Dine Another Day gift certificates available at register

**"Where's The Party" discounts available to groups of 10 or more (the management knows that Where's the Party was not a single but feels the pun is too good to pass up)


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4 Comments:

At 6:09 PM, Blogger Laura B said...

"Just a Pie, My Love." Holy God...

My head just exploded, and it turns out it was filled with mozzarella cheese and an arrabiata sauce.

 
At 2:35 AM, Blogger lobstersquad said...

I think you forgot the Madonna song we´d never want to associate with pizza : "Frozen". great post!

 
At 11:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

See what Canada does to a nice american gay couple? I'll have the Deeper and Deeper, La Isla Bo-Pizza

 
At 11:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous...wha???...that last comment was me....Peebs [Peter Brown]

 

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