23 October 2006

Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous

Do no adjust you sense of reality. The following message is true: Ahmet Zappa has been hired to turn "Fraggle Rock" into a live action movie musical.

Obviously, this could be awesome. But let me ask you this...

If the Fraggles can get a movie, and the Tranformers can get live action treatment from Michael Bay, why are there no plans to make a musical out of "Jem and the Holograms?"

Because that movie would rule, and don't even try to deny it.

Let's take a moment to reflect on the cartoon's salient plot points:

(1) Jerrica, a young woman who runs both a record company and a shelter for homeless girls, also performs under the alter-ego Jem. As Jem, she and her bandmates (The Holograms) not only tour the world playing music, but also have dazzling international adventures.

(2) To become Jem, Jerrica speaks to hear earrings, which link her to a super-
intelligent computer named Synergy. Synergy then transmits a hologram that wraps around Jerrica, turning her into Jem. Synergy also creates other holorgrams to help in the international adventuring, and the computer itself has a visual persona as a woman with purple hair.

(3) Jem and the Holograms do battle (musical and otherwise) with The Misfits, a rival rock band. The two acts often compete in battles of the bands, whose exotic locales also allow for adventuring.

(4) Jerrica's boyfriend is named Rio, and he has purple hair.

Can't you imagine the movie this could be? Just start with a battle of the bands in Barbados. From there, watch sparks fly as the Misfits' evil manager kidnaps Rio--on hand to help Jerrica scout talent--thereby forcing Jerrica/Jem to go on a globe-trotting msision to save him. But the only way she can downplay what she's doing is to make each stop on her journey part of the Holograms' tour. Otherwise, the Misfits' manager would get wise to Jem's true identity, which could result in shutting down the girls' home.

Oh, and the Misfits are doing a shadow tour, trying to sabotage every Holograms show.

Let the global chase and pop-tune montages begin!

And for casting? Pink is destined to be head of the Misfits. Jem/Jerrica is Lindsay Lohan, I think. Rio can only be played by Topher Grace.

Synergy? Well, that's Phylicia Rashad. And The Misfits' manager is Sharon Stone.

If anyone out there wants me to deliver a script treatment, just let me know.

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14 Comments:

At 9:04 AM, Anonymous katy said...

YES.

 
At 9:43 AM, Anonymous Brooke said...

AMEN!

JEM is truly outrageous, truly, truly, truly outrageous!

 
At 1:01 PM, Anonymous jenni said...

Linsady Lohan, really?

Really?

 
At 3:47 PM, Anonymous maggie said...

I'm going to use my veto on Lindsey Lohan.

I do get a veto, right?

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger Mark Blankenship said...

Invoking her power of veto, Maggie takes Lindsay Lohan off the table.

Who should be our new star? Is Maggie Gyllenhaal too hip, or could she bring the right mix of knowingness and sass?

 
At 6:26 PM, Anonymous Jen is truly outrageous. said...

Amanda Bynes.

Love her.

 
At 9:05 PM, Anonymous katy said...

I'm on board with Maggie Gyllenhall.

But what about Kristen Bell, television's Veronica Mars?

Or Anne Hathaway? That's a little harder to imagine, I suppose ...

 
At 9:17 PM, Anonymous AdamH said...

Can't you work in Sarah Michelle Gellar in somewhere?

 
At 9:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I second both the 'Amen' and the casting call for Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Oh, Jem.

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger Mark Blankenship said...

By the time the movie goes into production, SMG may be too old for Jem. Maybe she should be Synergy.

And I think Kristen Bell could be a good choice.

Or how about Rachel McAdams?

Yes. Rachel McAdams could be perfect.

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Midge said...

Thank you for this. You just MADE MY WEEK. This movie MUST be made.

Jake Gyllenhaal as Rio, and definitely Rachel McAdams as Jem.

 
At 12:01 PM, Blogger Liz said...

Ok, I know I'm really late to be putting a comment on this post, but when I saw this I figured it would help once Hollywood comes a'callin'

 
At 2:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL. You are SO right! Phylicia Rashad IS Synergy! How'd you come up with that? It's PERFECT!

 
At 10:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yep, rachel mcadams as jem and kristen bell as kimber

 

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