20 April 2007

Welcome to My Random Thoughts, Pt. 2

It's time for another clearinghouse special on my random thoughts!

(1) Obviously, it's about time Sanjaya got kicked off American Idol.

Is that a revolutionary statement? No. But let me tell you... when it was down to just LaKisha and Sanjaya, I was literally sitting with my head between my knees, rocking with fear that she was going to get eliminated before the far inferior Malakar. I can't take that kind of stress every week, so thank goodness it's over.

(2) On the subject of Idol, I hope Jordin, Melinda, and LaKisha comprise the top three.

Chris Richardson drives me up a steep wall. First of all, his voice? Sucks. Justin Timberlake is not the greatest singer in the world, so being a less accomplished version of J.T. is not to Chris' credit. Plus, he just seems so skeevy to me, wearing those white sneakers every week and oozing this aura of cheap beer and Velveeta and peeing in the sink in the middle of the night.

Oh, and? And? He used to be a "supervisor" at Hooters. Hooters! My deepest love to everyone reading this who enjoys hot wings served by girls in mini-shorts. Seriously. It's a free country, and I'd probably let a guy in a thong bring me a cheeseburger. But if I did that, I'd know it was trashy. Just like Hooters is trashy. And being on the management staff at Hooters makes you trashy with benefits.

As for ther other guys: Phil is just not very good. And Blake is talented and cool, but he strikes me as phony. There's something about him that tells me he's trying too hard to be awesome. (Could it be his "improv performance" that one week, when he was wearing those fake teeth?) There's never a moment when he doesn't seem really calculated and image-obsessed, so even though I think he's good, I'd like him to place fourth.

(3) Rihanna has cleared her name of "Unfaithful" by releasing "Umbrella"

Rihanna doesn't have much of an artistic personality, so my affection for her rises and falls based on how much I like her current single. Last summer, I examined the hot mess of "Unfaithful," which was the murder ballad of 2006.

But now she's back with her new single, "Umbrella." Listen to it below...

There's no way around it. This song kicks ass. The bass? Thumps like a mother. And her reggae-accented singing--especially on those "ay ay ays" in the chorus-- is cool.

And how great is it in the chorus when the synth swells up underneath her voice? It sounds sunny and uplifting, just like the lyric about how she's never going to stop loving her fella.

Welcome back, Rihanna. I'm back on board. Who knows? Maybe this time you'll keep me for two songs in a row!



At 1:42 AM, Anonymous Cassy said...

Mark, I just wanted to say that I totally agree with your Hooters comment. I have been saying for a long time now that people who choose to work at Hooters, of all places, are a strange kind of people. I can just see one of the girls now running home popping her bubblegum to say "Guess what!? I just got a job at Hooters!!" as she flips her hair and pulls her shirt down a little bit further.

Correct me if I'm wrong Hooters employees.


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