iPod: R.i.P. (a very special Five Songs For...)

This is never the image you want to see on your iPod.

This is the image I currently see on mine.

That means I am in the woods of Connecticut without any music. Moreover, when I return to my humble Brooklyn home, I face the possibility of losing over 5,000 songs that I don't have backed up on my computer (which crashed last summer.) And we're not just talking about Whitney Houston remixes here, people. There were some great albums on Watson (that was my iPod's name). Fun, obscure groups like Apples in Stereo and classics like the best of Simon and Garfunkle. Now they're like Wednesday nights on ABC. They're Lost. (Okay, okay. I should sometimes activate my joke censor before I turn into my father.)

So now, ever so humbly, I present to you with a very special "Five Songs For..."

FIVE SONGS FOR... SINGING TO YOURSELF

Imagine that you're in the woods of Connecticut with no access to music. What songs are perfect to sing to yourself as you try to keep the hum of insects or the crushing, crushing silence of undeveloped nature at bay? As a person living the experiment, I offer these...

(1) "Theme from the Facts of Life" -- TV themes are perfect for singing as you walk short distances because they can be over just in time for you to go back inside, away from the aforementioned bugs. I find this ditty--cowritten by Alan Thicke of "Growing Pains" fame--to be particularly choice because it doesn't require the vocal chops of, say, "The Jeffersons" yet it has a bouncy melody that lifts the spirits in a similar way.

(2) "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers -- This hit from the film "Benny and Joon" obviously fits the bill because it's about walking, but there's a hidden reward as well...

It's easy to act this song out without seeming insane. You can walk in time to the rhythm and imagine you, too, are walking 500 miles (and walking 500 more) just the be the man who walks a 1,000 miles who falls at someone's door.

And when you're secretly performing, it's hard not to be in good mood.

(3) "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers -- Few of us may be able to hit all the notes, but is there a better tune to hum as you wander home in the dark? Romance!

(4) "The Lumberjack Song" by Monty Python -- You know the one. "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..." Silly sing-songy chants make nice background noise while the rest of your mind focuses on whether it's chilly enough to put on your cute blue zip-up jacket that you got at the Banana Republic outlet near Nyack, NY. (You know the one I mean, right?) And sing-songy chants are better when they're this funny.

(5) You choose! Which songs do you like singing to yourself when you find yourself without earbuds, headphones, or other such things?